February was always a big month for George and Martha Washington as well as Abe and Mary Todd Lincoln, what with Valentine’s Day and George and Abe’s birthday both being in February.
And so, the Washingtons and Lincolns partied down in February. George and Martha would give each other colonial-era-appropriate gifts like molasses candies (in heart-shape boxes) and some nice wood varnish for George’s oral hygiene (you know, wooden teeth.) Then they’d have cherry pie.
Abe would give Mary agita and she famously gave him little wood log pieces he could make toy log cabins out of, hence the birth of Lincoln logs. Then they’d pitch pennies, which was like throwing little Lincoln commemorative medallions around.
Now, of course, it’s entirely possible that none of this really happened—because we totally just made it up—but the point is when February lines-up Valentine’s Day and Presidents’ Day together on the calendar, it’s time to party.
And nobody does holiday weekend parties like Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, where this year we get to combine both our romantic Valentine’s offerings with the star-packed entertainment and promotions of another Presidents’ Day Weekend in Atlantic City.
From Friday, February 13 to Monday, February 16, Borgata has something for everyone.
When comic Lisa Lampanelli takes the stage—as she will February 15 at Borgata’s Event Center—she’s not exactly subtle about what you can expect.
Things are going to get rough.
Lampenelli dubs herself comedy’s Queen of Mean—though a lovable Queen of Mean—and even uses the web address insultcomic.com for her website. That’s pretty much telling it like it is.
Brash, dirty, politically incorrect, really dirty, unsettling, really, really dirty, savage – look, the chick is dirty … they’re all pretty accurate descriptions of Lampanelli’s act.
And in recent years, thanks to appearances on Howard Stern’s Sirius radio show (where he can go off uncensored) as well as a host of Comedy Central roasts and her own HBO comedy special “Long Live the Queen,” Lampanelli’s stock keeps rising. It also didn’t hurt that she was on season five of “Celebrity Apprentice.”
Lampanelli comes to Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa this time out as a changed woman. Oh, she’ll still skewer anyone—including herself—but coming off a failed marriage, she’s lost about 100 pounds and has given herself a new look.
“It’s so dramatic, I don’t recognize myself. I want to get out and date properly now that my divorce is final. Those experiences will make for great stories in the future shows,” Lampanelli recently told the Las Vegas Sun.
For couples looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day date, a lot of petty well-worn, almost clichéd scenarios come to mind. There’s the flowers, the candy, candlelight dinner, slow dancing at a romantic lounge … you know the drill.
Nothing wrong with going with the classics.
But for some it might be time to shake things up a little. And Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa may have the perfect Valentine’s Day show to do just that—Comedian Artie Lange appearing at The Music Box.
Loud, obnoxious, offensive, dirty, funny as hell … Lange just screams Valentine’s Day.
Truthfully, the former Howard Stern sidekick brings an unbelievable honesty to his stand-up act, unapologetically discussing the dark side of a life marred by heroin addiction, depression and a suicide attempt, all outlined in his book Crash and Burn.
Lange is a survivor, though anyone who follows his Twitter account (or his new podcast) knows controversy is never far away.
But there’s one thing you can’t deny about Lange … he’s funny.
Here’s a sample.
“I’ve never been swimming, and that’s because it’s never been more than half an hour since I last ate.”
New Year’s Eve is here.
Now for those people out there who are good at planning—you know the kind of people who made reservations for a Time’s Square hotel six years ago—that’s no big deal.
But for everybody else, it’s time to panic. Where do we go? Where’s the best party?
One answer—Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa.
Even the plan aheaders (those who plan ahead?) know that. Just check out this New Year’s lineup at Borgata.
Events for New Year’s Eve include:
$1,414 BONUS SLOT DOLLARS®
One winner every 14 minutes
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Noon – 7 P.M.
Wanda Sykes plays Borgata’s Music Box November 7 & 8. So here’s a quick Wanda Sykes quiz.
Which of these three quotes come from Sykes?
“I can hear my mother now: ‘What? Oh, you gonna get a divorce? It’s just that easy, huh? Things get hard, things get rough – you just want to throw in the towel, just like that. Let me tell you something, that’s a bunch of bull. Let me tell you something – your father and I had a shootout, OK? He took one in the arm – Harry, show her where I shot you – now, see that’s love right there. You gotta learn how to work these things out. He was wrong, I shot him – you move on.”
“I don’t understand this whole Elvis thing. There are dead people in my family that we miss and love dearly, but shoot, we don’t dress up like them and do impressions. I’ll show up at the family reunion in a dirty t-shirt and a bald cap – ‘Look, everybody, I’m Uncle Earl.’”
“I love doing stand-up, because it gives me the freedom to say what I really want to say. I think that’s why it’s my favorite thing to do.”
The answer? All three.
Wanda Sykes has carved out an impressive TV career with stints on “The Chris Rock Show,” “The New Adventures of Old Christine,” “Curb your Enthusiasm,” her own late night talk show and a bunch of HBO comedy specials. And that’s not even mentioning films like “Bruce Almighty” and “Monster in Law.” She’s a writer, actor and producer.
You know comedian Jeff Ross—who is appearing November 1 at the Borgata Music Box—from his many stints on Comedy Central’s celebrity roasts.
Ross has been one of the main comics to breathe some life back into the roast format—where some poor celeb is berated with a mixture of insult jokes with really insulting jokes.
Ross is so much a part of the format, he bills himself the Roastmaster General.
So that’s where you know him from, which is all well and good. It’s much, much worse, however, when he knows you, as celebs from Pamela Anderson to Krusty the Clown (on a recent episode of “The Simpsons”) have found out.
As Ross puts it, “Diss is my Life.”
“I never planned on making fun of people for a living,” says Ross at his roastmaster general website. “It happened by accident. In fact, my whole life has been a series of happy and not-so-happy accidents that have transformed me into the black belt in busting balls that I am today. I like being known as the meanest man in comedy, but I must admit that it’s a blessing and a curse. It’s not a bad way to make a living, but every now and then somebody wants to kill me.”
At this point, the truth is out there about longtime comedian Bob Saget, who appears October 25 at the Borgata Music Box.
Yeah, yeah, he played good-natured dad Danny Tanner on the hit TV sitcom “Full House” from 1987 to 1995. And he was also the host of “America’s Funniest Home Videos” from 1989 to 1997. Since then he’s been a game-show host, the voice of narrator Ted Mosby on “How I Met Your Mother” and a regular on “Entourage.”
So that’s a pretty family friendly resume. But if you think that you’ll see a family friendly stand-up act from Saget at Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa in October, you haven’t been paying attention (the “Entourage” credit should have tipped you off).
Saget’s blue comedy and obscenity-laced stand-up act is as famous as anything he ever did as the loving dad Danny Tanner.
Just google “America’s Filthiest Home Videos” if you don’t believe us to see a short Saget recently did on the web series Speakeasy from Made Man. But make sure you know what you’re getting into. “Blue” may be too subtle a description.
Did you ever see one of those Magic Eye 3D posters that became so popular in the 90s? You know the images that just look like a pattern of colors, but when you look closely—deeply even—a 3D image appears within the picture.
Well, comedian Brian Regan’s comedy is something like that.
Let us explain.
You know Regan—who appears October 4 at the Borgata Event Center—from his more than 25-year career as one of the premiere stand-ups in the country. He’s a regular on late-night talk shows (more than 25 appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman) and Comedy Central and has put out several comedy CDs including “All by Myself” in 2010.
He’s known for his goofy expressions, physical comedy and his dry observational humor (which is pretty clean by the way, so bring the kids) focusing on the little things in life, from the pressures of spelling bees to how drivers wave each other into lanes.
In other words, he looks deeply at everyday things.
It’s become pretty apparent over the last decade or so that comedian Joel McHale cannot be stopped.
The star of both E’s “The Soup” and the now Yahoo online series “Community“, as well as the upcoming film “Merry Firggin Christmas” (featuring Robin Williams in one of his last roles), brings his stand-up act to Borgata’s Music Box for two shows on September 13 at 7pm and 10 pm.
And you can expect the same irreverent humor that made something out of nothing on “The Soup” and has helped “Community” fend off cancellation about 37 times. It’s also what propelled McHale to host this year’s White House Correspondent’s Ball in May in front of President and Mrs. Obama.
“When ‘The Soup’ started, no one watched it and we were just entertaining ourselves,” McHale recently told the Huffington Post. “I have kind of kept that mantra with me. Obviously I was feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and was deeply concerned about whether the jokes were quality.”
No one may have watched “The Soup” at first, but this year the show scored an Emmy nomination for a brilliant satire of HBO’s “True Detective.”
“We see it like making a very fine Persian rug,” McHale recently said of his signature show. “It takes forever to make them, it’s a labor of love and eventually you’ll be recognized for it. But by that point, your fingers have just been gnarled to the bone!”
When it comes to great entertainment families, it’s usually pretty easy to figure out who is the dominant player in the mix.
Who’s your favorite Jackson brother? Michael.
Who’s your favorite Marx Brother? Groucho.
Who’s your favorite Kardashian? (For the sake of argument, let’s call them an entertainment family) Anyway, it’s Kim.
Who’s your favorite Wayans Brother? … Hmmmm. Not so easy.
Come July 20 at Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, you won’t have to choose as the Wayans Brothers Live appear at the Borgata Event Center. That’s Keenan, Marlon, Shawn and Damon all on the same stage in what is described as a hybrid stand-up/sketch comedy show. Make that a hilarious stand-up/sketch show.